The sweet folks at Nestle (ok Nestle’s PR agency #butstill) gave me a slew of new Damak chocolate bars – Turkish chocolate now available for us ‘mericans. 5 reasons you should go try these:

1. Is there another bar in the US with Pistachios?

I sure couldn’t find any that weren’t specialty made from small artisan purveyors. And I can’t think of one now.

2. Pistachios stay crunchiesh.

Maybe I’ve been getting the wrong pistachios from Trader Joe’s over the last 20 years but if I don’t eat them quick enough, they go soft. Take ’em out of their shells and it speeds up that process. Yet here they are in the Damak bar and they’re crunchy. howdeydodat?

3. European chocolate taste.

There’s just something smoother about European chocolate, something lightly fruity even, with deeper flavors. Plus, not too sweet. It’s hard to explain well but check for yourself – buy a Hershey bar and this Damak bar and do your own taste test. The Damak bar (milk or dark) is simply a more interesting thing to eat.

4. Keeping it Turkish and marketing to Americans? That’s some cajones. 

Do I need to tell you that there’s an idiot running for president in America, who appears to be winning his party’s nominee, on a platform of bigotry?  Good on Nestle for giving the finger to potential anti-immigration sentiment, bringing in a foreign chocolate and not renaming it or pretending it’s all homegrown and shit. Buy it: stick it to the man.

5. It just looks good.

5a. The name says it all.

It’s pronounced “Dih-mok”, according to the press release (but is that diii-mok or die-mok? no idea) and it means “great taste.” Good on you Turkish Nestle people for stating the obvious. In fact, it’s made me think I can do it too. You’ll find our next reviews on our new site, “Funny writing” blog.

OH ZING