We’ve all had Swedish Fish before, right?

Just look at ’em!  All weird textured, and larger than a normal chewy candy-they’re very unique.  They usually come in four colors/flavors, unless you get jipped and get the bag with only red.  WTF?

Don’t get me wrong, the red is clearly the best flavor (no idea what it is, although the current thought is lingonberry.  Please explain to me how anyone can try a piece of candy, wrinkle their brow, and then shout out ” I’ve got it!  It’s Lingonberry!  I know, because OF ALL THE LINGONBERRIES I EAT!”  It didn’t happen.  Can’t happen.  The flavor is simply red.

For some odd reason there’s a lot of folklore about the other flavors.  Is green lime or pineapple?  It’s lime.  Is orange orange or….orange?  Yes.  What about yellow?  Who cares, I say.  These things aren’t really about flavor representation.   They’re about being somewhat unique.  And they are.

In small doses, Swedish Fish are great.  The flavors are candy-positive, if not super real tasting.  But the unique thing is the texture.  These are not gummies, they’re not fruit gelees.  They’re sticky, chewy things.  Bite into them, and they give.  Don’t like sticky crap on your teeth?  Best to stay away.
The oddest thing about these is that after I had one or two, I was convinced that these were an unheralded top 10 candy.  Then after 6 or 7, I had had enough.  No interest.

Maybe-just maybe-the Halloween sized bag is the right answer for these?  Super portion control?

NO, IT’S NOT.  Why?  Because in those little bags, you only get red.

Mo money, mo problems.

Bottom line on these is that they’re good- one can’t deny that.  But they’re specific, and they’re best in small doses.  So do what I do: buy them in bulk at the supermarket, in their ghetto candy bulk section: put like 10 in a bag and call it a life.

Or, buy a ton from the link below and enter the world of food regret.