Scandinavian Swimmers

Most of you who’ve seen these have seen them at Trader Joe’s. In fact, I’d wager most. But did any of you realize that Hershey’s makes them?   Actually they don’t. I have no fucking idea who makes them-isn’t that the “charm” of Trader Joe’s? Just when you fall in love with a food item […]

Reviewed by Jonny

September 5, 2017

Visit DylansCandyBar.com

Most of you who’ve seen these have seen them at Trader Joe’s. In fact, I’d wager most.


But did any of you realize that Hershey’s makes them?

 

Actually they don’t. I have no fucking idea who makes them-isn’t that the “charm” of Trader Joe’s? Just when you fall in love with a food item there, they stop carrying it. Then you start a month long campaign of trying to figure out who the actual manufacturer is, but they won’t TELL YOU BECAUSE IT’S APPARENTLY WRONG TO HELP CONSUMERS BUY PRODUCTS FROM COMPANIES. And then bingo-Jonny doesn’t have his cheddar horseradish chips anymore. And yeah…I’m still concerned about it. Back to candy though.

Scandinvian swimmers. If you haven’t made the connection yet, these are supposed to be candies similar to Swedish Fish. The bag describes them as “yummy gummy candies”, but they’re not. They’re jelly candies, which is what Swedish Fish candy are as well.  Why does the world cower from the greatness of jellies? What do they fear?

We got four shapes and four colors. The great news is that all flavors are naturally derived, and the shocker is that the colors are as well. I have no idea how they got the blue one, but…I’ll take their word for it. It’s truly unique to see candies colored with beets, blackcurrants, carrots, apple and pumpkins in America, but that’s what we have here.

Yellow seahorse- this is peach I think. Not super forward, but I’m going with peach. (Turns out it’s peach mango)

Red lobster- again, the flavor is muddy to me, but it feels like raspberry. (It’s berry)

Orange rockfish-orange.

blue dolphin-a ha. We have something distinct here, but…I can’t place it. That’s because it’s huckleberry apparently. Yummy, very floral. Show of hands: who has EVER had a huckleberry, and if so why?  How? Most important, what possessed them to make that the fourth flavor?  Again, we’ll never know.

 

The headline here here is really in the eating experience. These are soft, soft soft. And like I said before, they’re jellies, not gummies, so even the gentlest of bites will cut it straight through.  Some people are put off by this, but I like it.

I eat a lot of candies that are actually made in Sweden (these are made here in the states), and while I can’t say that these remind me of them, their use of natural colors and flavors is definitely correct. Honestly, there’s no ingredients in these to complain about it, but that doesn’t mean they’re the perfect candy. The big is gigantic though, they pack 14 ounces in there.

While the flavors are generally pleasant, everything’s a bit too muddy for me, and a bit too sweet. I’m not suggesting these should be sour, but even simply using less sugar to make them a bit edgier might have been neat. As is, they’re good, but I’m not writing home about them.  But that also might be because I’m actually home now, so it would be an easy exercise in futility. I’d have to find paper first of all, then a stamp. I haven’t bought stamps sicne there were only two “Fast & the Furious” movies. Then I’d have to figure out how to get the post person to take the letter, give it back, etc. None of it makes SENSE!

For the little ones though, they’re great. Unless of course you have food allergies in your life, in which case you need to avoid these. They’re made in an environment that leaves the possibility of basically every major allergen getting into them. That’s worse than simply being in a factory that also has those ingredients used in it-this might have pecan chunks floating around up in there.

That’s a MAJOR difference from how they do it in Sweden, not for nothing.

But if you do want to gorge on these, no fear-you don’t have to go to TJ’S for them- just click the link below, because we aim to please.

Zolli Candy

1 Comment

  1. greebs

    I got to say I really like these, and one thing that you don’t mention is that the texture does change from piece to piece. The blue sharks (?) are much ‘harder’ as well as the red lobsters than, say, the yellow or orange ones that are chewier.

    As you know I’m a big Swedish Fish fan and these are excellent.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *