Yeah I go to sports events at large stadiums.

Or I did before I was afraid to be within 6 feet of other people.

And I like stadium hot dogs. Sure they’re made with bottom-o-the-bucket meat. Sure complete strangers handle the food and who knows where they’ve been or how the food is stored.

But these Haribo gummies that look like hot dogs aren’t meat!

In the Haribo Stadionwurst you have a gummy novelty recipe concoction: a little gummy weiner, some gummy mustard and ketchup strings, and a gummy bun which is the soft marshmallow-like fluffy gummy. You put them together, eat it, and consider if there are other more important things you should be doing.

Let’s agree: these are for kids. I kinda doubt you’re pulling a bag of these our for company. “May I interest you in a little dessert tonight? Perhaps a dull-colored gummy stadium hot dog.”

Yes we tend to be Haribo apologists on this site. But these were blah. The color was meh. See above. The taste… well they had no flavor; they were just sweet gummy. Yet the texture was pretty spot on — the wiener and accoutrement gummies had chew, and the marshmallow bun was softer so together they meshed well.

I found the Haribo Stadionwurst in one place on the web: ebay. Which might mean some enterprising or maybe sketchy tween is selling the old hoard he found at his local German corner shop. But hey, I eat stadium hot dogs so who am I to judge.