It’s Halloween 2017 and instead of reviewing some crap you might get in your trick-or-treat bag, the Gurus are going gourmet baby!

This is one of those bars I always see at the register in my local, small, semi-gourmet, mostly organic grocer. It sits there amongst the $6.99 and up high-end chocolate bars which I rarely partake because generally speaking I’m against paying a lot of cash for candy. Plus, I like gummies more than chocolate, and 7 dollars can get me a shit ton of sours if I play my cards right.

Still, this bar just kept staring at me as I was waiting FAR TOO LONG for a woman to figure out how to pay with her credit card. So I said ‘why not.’ I procured.

The care package-looking bar is called Chocolove and it’s Belgian style made in Boulder, Colorado by folks that as far as I can tell, aren’t from Belgium. Belgian chocolate is called that for a few reasons: for one, it’s usually made there. Also, supposedly, Belgium was one of the first European countries (not named Spain) to get cocoa and make chocolate, so they got the fine-chocolate-bar-making history behind them. So. Um, yeah, not sure why Chocolove calls theirs Belgian…except for the marketing…but hey, that’s OK. We all gotta make a buck. What’s most important is the taste.

And Chocolove’s Salted Caramel Dark Chocolate bar is good. Very good.

It’s crisp, which I like. Doesn’t melt in your hands. Hard and shiny, the dark chocolate is semi-sweet (another thing I like) and thick enough to easily hold in the caramel. An important thing when you are eating chocolate and caramel. If it gets all over your fingers and they get sticky? Thank you, no. Minus 1 star.

The caramel is thicker than I expected. I thought it would be runnier, but I don’t like it too liquid-y (see above rant on ‘sticky’) so I’m good with it. And of course it has the salt in there, which is a given ingredient these days, and it should be BECAUSE IT ADDS FLAVOR. Funny thing is – I could have used more salt. Sprinkle a little on the top.

Look, if you’re like me, you aren’t going gourmet every day and you aren’t spending all your hard earned cash on chocolate when you have to save up for the new iPhone X. Still, sometimes you want to treat yourself to a chocolate bar that makes you go ‘mmm’ and when you do, go ahead and reach for the Chocolove. You’ll likey.