When I first looked at this bag, I felt quite sure that it was filled with some sort of sour grape delight.

MAYBE grape and watermelon, or perhaps fruit punch.  But I have a secret weapon, and it’s my translating app.  I take a picture of the bag, then slowly, the words-at least some of them- become clear, like magic.  Licorice.  Anise. Not was I was expecting.

First though, on the name.  “Classic Sismofytter”.  Look, I don’t CARE if it makes sense in Danish, it’s weird.  After I researched it though, turns out that …it’s weird.

Sismofytter was a character on a 70’s show for kids on Denmark.  I’m thinking something horrifying like Syd & Marty Krofft’s terrifying excuses for children’s shows.  So that’s where we’re at-completely confusing for non-Danes, but hey, no big deal.  If there’s any Danes out there that used to watch this show, please leave a comment, I need to hear about it.

In America, having a licorice flavored hard candy as a TV show tie in wouldn’t work because kids here don’t like licorice or hard candy.  They’re stupid.  This is the nation of future leaders we’ve made.  But the Danish kids…they’ve got something going on.  I’m picturing legions of middle aged Danes with bags of “classic” Sismofytter in their desks at work just shaking their fists to the sky and cheering with joy every time they eat one.  But would I?

Pretty.  Gotta hand it to them, these are beautiful little gems. I think in another life, I’d like to make hard candies.  Sure, I’d use antiquated machinery to make things no one really wants, but is that so different from what I do all day now?

Think about that.

While you’re doing that, here’s what I think of these: I like them.  They have that weird quality that some hard candies have, where you can feel just a tiny bit of give to the exterior-I like that.  It tricks you into thinking there’s some wonderful prize inside the candy, but guess what?  THERE ISN’T.  Get back to work.

Really, it’s just a good flavor.  Deep anise, with just a hint of menthol-these aren’t for everyone, that’s for sure.  They stay consistent until the end, where you get a tiny bit more salt when it finishes-or is that my imagination?  Regardless, it was an easy eating pleasant experience from start to finish.  Still though the name.  You could use it this way, though: when you give one to a “friend”, and they start eating it and invariably spit it out because they don’t know any better, you just cross your arms, tilt your head back, giggle, and mutter “Classic Sysmofytter!” as you walk away.