Here’s something you might not know about the Candy Gurus: We’re Jews! That’s right-at least Matty & myself. Our Guru children are all mutts and half breeds, so THEY DON’T COUNT.
Something else you might not know about us: we’re both fluent in 3 languages, and both have been invited to the White House*. So you know we’re legit.
Imagine our pride when FINALLY, after many years of doing this, a candy from Israel popped up. The home land! Brought to me from my badass Israeli Foley Artist friend, she made it clear that this wasn’t anything special or rare in Israel: this is akin to the ubiquitous Hershey’s bar. It’s supermarket candy. That set my expectations right where they should have been: lodged deep into mediocrity.
That’s insane looking, and in a good way. Look at all that….stuff in there! Presumably it’s all popping candy, but daaaaamn….that’s a hella lotta popping candy.
Sweet cross section shot. Suffice it to say, this thing is chock full of pop. And let me tell you something: it’s good chocolate. Sure, we’re talking about milk chocolate, but let’s not snob it up here. Yes, “we” like dark chocolate better generally, but the milk has its place-and this iteration is simple, creamy, and good. The star of the show isn’t the chocolate though, despite it being tasty: it’s the popping candy. I don’t know who the first schnook was to put popping candy in chocolate, but at the time I remember thinking it was a horrible idea.
Not so. Now, I’d like to shake her/his hand, firmly-while maintaining eye contact….for just a few seconds longer than what’s comfortable. My usual.
The popping candy is so unique and weird, I thought-and one would think-that it really doesn’t belong with chocolate. But the combo of the two works amazingly well. Since it’s milk milk milky chocolate, it has that mouth melting feel. Juxtaposed** with that, the popping candy starts slow, but then starts to go nuts in your mouth.
Nutz in your mouth I said.
And it’s fun. I’m not sure the popping candy tastes particularly like anything, but it’s really more of a contrasting consistency thing. Dammit, it’s fun to have shit explode in your mouth, just like it was when we were little kids eating Pop Rocks. It’s fun. But now? It’s seriously tasty too.
If you ever see this rainbow cow popping candy bar, pick one up-I’m told they’re cheap, about a dollar a piece.
*while it’s possible that Matty & I both have been invited to houses the were technically “white”, we’re actually not allowed within a half mile of the President’s house. Also, we barely speak Englishes.
**we can still use the occasional big word though
There are dark chocolate cow bars, too. I find them on the clearance shelf after Jewish holidays.