Milch Bar from Mexico: Eh. Esta Bien.

My kid used to say 'milch' when she was trying to say 'milk'. Great story.

Reviewed by Matty

April 4, 2017

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Look. I go into every review wanting to like the candy. I don’t Not want to like it. So when you read some of my musings and they’re on the negative side, just know that I want it to be positive. Who wants to eat bad candy for chrissakes?

So I went to Cabo San Lucas Mexico with the family. Great trip overall. Swimming, sun, pretty good food, tequila. We all stayed healthy and had fun so what’s not to like. Not sure I’d go back to Cabo…Tulum, Sayulita, Puerta Vallarta are much better. But I digress.

I was looking for Mexican candy in whatever store I could go and saw a lot of things we’ve reviewed and know we like, such as Gudu and Vero Mango pops. Lotta gum too. But it wasn’t til our final night out I found a candy new to me that I thought would be good to review: The Milch Chocolate bar.

These things are made by Pepsico/Sonric’s (also makers of Gudu) and I spent a solid 7 min trolling the interwebbers for links to buy and quite literally found none. So you’re on your own. Might need to quite literally go to Mexico to buy. However, I don’t think you want one.

They are good out of the package: the size is nice – long, like a Marathon (U.S. version) bar; a slimmer looking version of Baby Ruth, with the nutty (they’re hazelnuts) outside / under the chocolate covering. I think the middle is supposed to be a hazelnut filling, which sounds chic and European even, but I call BS on hazelnut. It looks like chocolate, but tastes too wishy washy. It’s chocolate lite.

The crunch of the bar is great. It’s a light crunch like a wafer you might find in your Kit Kat, but super thick and still really crunchy. The 2 stars are for that alone. If the chocolate around the bar was really tasty? Milch would be tops.

Maybe it’s my current diet, but it also felt like a lot to eat. The Milch center though… see that hazelnut-chocolate-or-is-it-chocolate-hazelnut circle in the middle of the bar? Well I thought – nay, HOPED, it was creamy. Alas, it was chewy-ish. And when I bit into it, it kinda came out in my mouth like a worm. Wiiiieeeerd feeling and not terribly palatable. #WeCallThisAMiss

TL;DR — Crunch is great. Chocolate is mediocre. Lose the hazelnut. The center was strangely not creamy and off putting. Buy if you can find but you may need to quite literally travel south of the border.

Zolli Candy

2 Comments

  1. Michele G

    Milch is my all time fave to obtain from Mexico vacay!

    Reply
  2. Lucy

    This made me so sad! My sister and I went to Mexico in 2008 and LOVED milch! We tried buying online and were so sad to not find anything! The center for us seemed perfectly normal/as you would expect a ‘creme’ center to be. Hazelnut is so much better than the over-used peanut or even almond. The chocolate want the finest, similar to any other cheap chocolate bar with too much sugar and not enough cocoa butter. I’m sorry the center was weird for you. I don’t think that’s normal… :(. We liked Milch quite well!

    Reply

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