No one knows more than me and Jonny that American candy is pedestrian, undifferentiated, and dare I say boring. It’s all basically made by one of three companies, and it’s also the reason kids in American throw away half of their Halloween take. Simply put, it’s the same shit they eat all year long.

Thank god for the Europeans (and Asians for that matter), who put together way different types of sweet things to eat. Like these crazy little (actually, kind of big) chew balls that are-soft-but-not-totally-taffy nougat nuggets.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a bag of individual sweets that had such different flavor types. Not different flavors – we’ve all had bags with that – but each of these little Mocken Boules bonbons or however they would be described, has a different overall essence to them. It’s kind of weird and charming all at the same time!

Five different bon bons (sure, let’s call them that): one berry, one lemon, a cola, chocolate and caramel. They are about the size of the blow pop lollipop, which is big enough that I had to bite in half, and eat half at a time, holding the other slightly spitty half while I gobbled down the first. Definitely doable, but not pretty.

I had the cola piece first and it started really tangy before the deep cola flavor sank in. The tang was citrus underneath, and when I saw the “mit/avec vitamin C”, I gave a knowing nod. It was as if the lil’ morsel was inundated with Airborne. The cola taste was on the verge of too coke-y though, like when you get your fountain drink at the movie theater and the mix is all off, with too much syrup and not enough sparkling water.

The next one I had was lemon. It too was tangy. The flavor wasn’t “real” lemon but again, strong citric acid overtones. Then I had the raspberry, which I liked a lot (berry zingy), and the caramel, which I liked a little, and finally the chocolate, which was terrible. It was like bad chocolate flavored chalky taffy and not actual chocolate. Blech. Plus it was confusing as hell. Why was there a chocolate candy in the same bag with citrus-infused ones? And did it also have vitamin C added? If so, bad choice.

The truth is I didn’t love these, but they provided just enough unanswered questions and that I can’t let them go! For example, if they have vitamin C, are they meant for breakfast, or to help keep a cold away? There is a “20” printed on the individual candies — what does that meeeaaaan… are they 20 calories each? Why are they so big…?

Your Interest piqued too? Well, you may need to go to Europe to procure unless you know Suzie a Shannon. I found them at one site but not sure I’d recommend dropping your Visa digits onto that page…

Good luck.