I’m not going to suggest I know what kind of eater you are.

Perhaps your body is a temple. You only ingest what you think will ensure good health and long life.

Perhaps you don’t give a damn. Pizza at 2 a.m. is your goto because you need the calories to continue your epic weapon run in Fortnite.

I don’t judge.

Yes, I try to be good to my body. I workout. I practice temperance… to a degree. I try to be good to the world–eating organic, seeking the fair trade goods.

What I do know is I like flavor. Taste eclipses everything else. It can be a super healthy carob-infused legendary sea salt rose petal white cacoa nibbed morsel – but if it’s next to a Reeses? I ain’t turning down the peanut butter cup.

And finally we get to the Theo Black Rice Quinoa Crunch Dark Chocolate bar.

Just one bar of many Theo makes. It’s all organic, it’s Fair Trade, it’s non-GMO, it’s 85% cacoa, and it’s lacking flavor.

Man I wanted to like this chocolate.

With a whopping 85% cacao, the dark chocolate is like coffee strong, which I dig. But the sweetness? None really. I don’t need my sweets overly sweet but this tasted like baker’s chocolate – somewhat chalky and not really for your mouth.

I was semi-excited for the quinoa and black rice, expecting a Crunch bar texture along with a slightly more chewy grain, but I couldn’t really tell one from the other and the texture didn’t really impact the overall experience. Sure, the bits were in there but they didn’t add value. I feel like they’re in there so people who want to be more healthy will feel like this is the chocolate bar they need.

And perhaps it is. Theo’s Black Rice Quinoa Dark Chocolate Crunch bar is soy-free, gluten-free, Vegan, organic, Kosher – with 3g of protein, 4g of fiber and only 4g of sugar when you eat 1/3 of the bar. That’s like 100 times better for you than any Clif Bar.

I just wish it tasted a bit better.